They could have called it The Great Escape, representing the abrupt emigration of the three presenters of the British Broadcasting Corporation’s (BBC) hugely popular car show: Top Gear. Instead, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May have titled their new car program The Grand Tour.
The trio searched for a name that included the word “gear” but were thwarted by attorneys and copyright laws. That’s probably just as well, because the title “Top Gear” has become a little tarnished since the old presenters’ departure. Just so you know, I use “presenter” when I mean “host,” because that’s how the Brits do things.
The past few weeks have not been good ones for the BBC’s Top Gear. I recently read that co-presenter Matt LeBlanc—or could we call him a co-host, since he is American?—threatened to leave the show unless the network fired Chris Evans, the other co-presenter.
Actually, I dislike calling Evans a “co-presenter,” because as a presenter—or a host—he is co-horrible.
Things haven’t gone well for the American version of Top Gear, either. Co-host (see what I did there?) Rutledge Wood announced on his Instagram feed that the History Channel was canceling the U.S. version of the show. I can’t say I’m surprised; it never had the panache of the Clarkson-led British program.
Still, two of the three American hosts had definite skills. Adam Ferarra is a skilled stand-up comedian; I know, because I’ve seen him in person, and he is funny. I actually had a nice chat with him during one of his performances, since I unwisely chose a seat close to the stage, but it was fun.
The second host with skills is Tanner Faust, who has better-than-average driving skills. Much better than average. In fact, he is a three-time U.S. rallycross champion, has won four X Games gold medals, and owns two Formula Drift championships.
Then there’s number three: Rutledge Wood, who, frankly, is just annoying to watch. Other than whining, I’m not sure what his skills are, but I’ll be kind and say that he must have hidden talents—including getting people to pay him to be on television for no other apparent reason. Sorry Rut; I call ’em as I see ’em.
So the BBC Top Gear is suffering from co-presenter dissatisfaction and abysmal ratings compared to Clarkson-era programs. The U.S. Top Gear version has been cancelled. Could the stage be set more perfectly for the return of Jezza, Captain Slow, and the Hamster—that is, Clarkson, May, and Hammond? I think not.
Now here’s the bad news—or perhaps good news if you already buy a lot of stuff on the Internet and get free shipping. The Grand Tour will not be broadcast over the air or on cable or satellite. You can only get it if you are an Amazon Prime member. That’s right; The Grand Tour will be streamed on Amazon Prime. And shipping is free. You can watch on your computer—or by purchasing a relatively inexpensive Amazon Fire TV Stick, you can view Clarkson getting all bent out of shape on your giant flat screen.
Clarkson, May, and Hammond have already started filming episodes of The Grand Tour. I’m not sure how the three presenters (because they’re British) or hosts (because Amazon is an American company) will divvy it up, but rumor has it that the three will divide a $7,000,000 pot for each of the twelve episodes per year scheduled over the next three years. That adds up to a $252,000,000 payroll just for the front men.
Business must be good over there at Amazon.com.
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos reportedly commented that the trio of presenters was “very, very, very expensive,” and added, “They're worth a lot—and they know it.” Sounds like the boss paid a little more for the talent than he really wanted to.
The Grand Tour does not yet have a definite launch date, other than sometime in 2016, so in that regard, it’s like every new car model that comes along: We’ll see it when we see it. However, Clarkson has hinted that the debut may have an “Octoberish” feeling to it.
The filming locations will be interesting, if not extreme—or at least extremely far away, in some cases. The show already filmed a live-audience segment in Johannesburg, South Africa, for example, which is a long way from everywhere.
A frequent question about the new show is, “What about the Stig?” If you want the Stig, you’ll have to put up with Matt LeBlanc and Chris Evans on the BBC’s Top Gear. Or maybe Matt LeBlanc and someone else, if Matt gets his wish. Either way, the Stig is trademarked by the BBC, and the last thing that Clarkson and pals want or need is to spend any of their $7,000,000 per episode on lawyers—any more than usual, that is.
Clarkson has a rather long history of doing stupid stuff that led him to the precipice of unemployment numerous times. An altercation with a Top Gear producer over Jeremy’s getting fed after the hotel kitchen closed was the proverbial last straw for the BBC. The producer got a fat lip and Jeremy got a pink slip.
That part of Clarkson I don’t like. He can be a lout in real life—but what he can do on air is choice. He describes cars in ways we rarely see on this side of the Atlantic. Another thing I like about Clarkson is that he seems never to have met a BMW he didn’t like. Hammond likes Porsches, and May likes Ferraris, but Jeremy seems to appreciate Bavarian DNA, so good on him.
But there are a few things from the old Top Gear that I hope don’t show up on The Grand Tour. First and foremost is putting a star in a reasonably priced car; lawnmower racing is more exciting. If I want to watch amateurs flogging small Japanese cars around the track, I’ll go watch a Spec Miata race. (I apologize in advance to those few Spec Miata drivers who don’t deserve that crack. You know who you are. On second thought, maybe not.)
As for a real professional driver to compare the lap times of different hot cars around the same track, it’s going to be tough to replace the Stig and his—or her—mysterious persona, and as we noted, the Stig is unavailable. But why does the show’s test driver have to be anonymous? Hire a good race driver and tell us who it is. I hear Jeff Gordon needs a ride and he’ll fit in any car that The Grand Tour reviews.
I’ve had Amazon Prime for years, and always thought it was worth the price. Later this year, it will be worth even more.—Scott Blazey
